i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
