my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
