You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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