mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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