i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
