nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
