At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
