Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
