I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
