using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize