People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
