hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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