Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
