we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
