i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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