cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
please come you make the beer taste better
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize