no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
MIDGETS
????
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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