:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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