Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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