i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
