i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
