If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
