Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
