I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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