I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
