he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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