is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
