roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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