VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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