If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
