Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
