butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
