I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
