i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
