mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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