Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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