They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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