it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Randomize
