you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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