I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
