I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
