Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize