are you so shy because you have an std?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I want is dick and wine.
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