Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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