Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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