im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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