In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
