Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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