Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
