You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
