He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
