Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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