Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
