I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
