This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize