is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize