i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pappa wants mamma naked
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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