so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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