Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Someone came in the potted fern
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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