and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
