I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
