There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
